You've got your backpack, sleeping bag, and tent ready to go. But there's one problem... Your car, man!
If you're too stubborn to go full weekend-warrior-Subaru-owner, your only option is to make due with what you have. So, let's take that four-door grandma car and make sure it's ready for your new rugged lifestyle.
Five easy tips to make your family sedan wilderness-ready
1. Remove all excess
When it's time to pack your camping and fishing gear, you don't want to be bothered with trivial garbage like baby seats, jumper cables, gas cans or spare tires. Huck it out.
2. Attach reflective bumper stickers to the roof
This will make sure that emergency response units can easily identify your vehicle when you're lost in thick bush, down grid-roads, or visiting Calgary.
3. Pack dubious emergency provisions
Test the extents of your impulse buys at the checkout line at Canadian Tire. Tow Truck in a Box may not get you out of a quarter-mile stretch of mud, but your friends will commend your dedication to thrift.
4. Make friends with your mechanic
Made easy by the massive stacks of cash you'll be dropping to replace those tie-rods, shocks, balding tires and cracked windshields. Be sure to ask if they like coffee and donuts — contrary to stereotypes, modern mechanics are typically concerned about their figures.
5. Turn up the tunes
With all of those rutted gravel roads you'll be driving on, nothing drowns out the rattles and squeals of damaged suspension like black metal or hard-hitting dubstep. As an added bonus, you'll be doing everyone a favour by warning them that your stupid ass is rolling in to the campground.
By the end of the season, your sedan should look like it was pulled out of an archaeological dig. Don't worry! You should still be able to sell it to a first-time driver for well above what it's worth. From there, take your $300 cash and trade in your recyclables for the ultimate outdoor adventure-mobile— the Chevy Astro.